I have this theory after coming to a sad conclusion about myself. I've recently in the past two years have become a Type A person. I forced myself to be Type A. If you knew me from childhood or high school or even early college, you knew that I was totally Type B. I didn't give a damn about anything. Being an art major, a very non-serious major, made me even a worse Type B than ever. I almost failed a class by missing almost more than half my lecture classes, but I was pretty eh about it. It didn't matter to me. Money didn't matter either. Consequences didn't matter. My apartment or my room was always messy, always pretty dirty, and was left like that for months. I felt like a kid.
But when I decided to be pre-optometry and then furthered my education in order to get into graduate school, I had to be Type A. I had to get my butt in gear, study hard, be organized, manage time, spend less money because I realized that tuition is just ridiculous, and I had to network left and right. My grades mattered, my resume mattered, my connections mattered. It's hell. I can see why pre-meds are so damn arrogant. It's because they can actually deal with all of this and still be sane. But it was out of the norm for me, making my stress levels quite high, and it still is. I'm a natural Type B. If I hadn't become a Type A, I would have never gotten into Optometry school. No way, jose.
But now that things are at a standstill for a bit, I can't get out of Type A mode. I don't know why. I think I'm stressed out because I feel guilty for spending so much of my parents money on tuition that I feel like I should seriously make it back for them. And I'm almost 24, and have not had any income. But maybe it's because I know I'll have to be full-time Type A again in about 7 months. So I can't relax?
Well, I'll try to relax. Afterall, I don't really need my job I guess. If I get fired, more power to me. And my parents seem to be still somewhat stable, so maybe I should just enjoy my free spoiled ass for a while until the hard books come at me again?
Decision: regain my Type B
Fear: hope I'm not Type A for good (huge turnoff for guys)
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lol u are soo strange! is type A really a turn off for guys, btw? You would probably attract type A guys at least.. not sure if u'd want that.. but u might not also want a guy who's totally type B cos they might just be too much of a lazy ass for u to tolerate. I dunno. what am i? i think i'm a mix of type a and type b. my sister considers me veryyyy organized and 'smart' in that sense.. but.. i'd have to disagree cos.. compared to henry i'm ridiculously lazy and unambitious. like yesterday. i spent a litte time trying to read a neuroscience book. and then FOUR hours just reading random stuff. like, a mix of blogs, the Economist, New York Times, OK!, People, etc. just. crazy procrastinating. lol. agh. now i feel guilty. or what i love doing is, after shaving my legs a few days before, i like to take tweezers and pull out hairs that are growing back. this can waste SO much time it's insane. but it's enjoyable. in a masochistic way. lol. anyway. i dunno if i'd really consider u type A. are u? i think it's all relative, right? well. good l uck on becoming more type b, anyway!
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