Where's that Reset Button

I've written so many entries. I just haven't published them. Sometimes I write three or four a night. I don't know why. I think it's because I don't really have someone to share my deepest thoughts with anymore.

I know we were both unhappy. Our lives got in the way, especially mine. I was going through a lot. School, Family, Health tied me down. All were time-consuming and stressful. This was probably my hardest year as of current. Everytime he visited to make this long-distance work, he chose bad times for some reason. Times in which I was in school or some catastrophe has happened in the family or in my life in general. That didn't make it much better at all. I wish he understood that. I wish he could've just waited for me to be done. I wish he could just be considerate and see through my eyes all the things I had to juggle. 2008 is still here. I still feel like shit psychologically and physically. I've got a lot of problems people don't know about. My parents want me to get a blood test. I'm too scared to know what ails me or is going to ail me. I blame it on supersition. I must've broken a mirror or walked under a ladder back in January or something. All I know is that if 2009 doesn't show me some color, I might be feeling more devasted. I'm tired of dealing with myself.