Cafe Culture

My brother works at starbucks, studies at starbucks, socializes at starbucks, and dates women from starbucks. I never really understood why he always went to starbucks or to so many coffeeshops almost every single day. I guess you got to get your coffee and get out of the house, but I never really understood or noticed this term that I shall coin as "cafe culture". It really is a culture or a scene in itself as much as a school club is or as much as going to the gym is. It may seem obvious but it really is not. This cafe culture just revolutionized in my head today as I got picked up by a woman. Whether she was a lesbian trying to start something with me or just a lonely friend who wanted to make her day interesting, I'm really not sure. But she obviously came to starbucks with a goal in mind other than to get a drink. I did as well. I was trying to pick up one of the baristas, but unfortunately he wasn't working today. I just realized how crazy it is that our society has become this sad to where we have other objectives in mind when we go to a place to eat/drink non-alcoholic beverages. I understand picking people up or making friends at a bar/club. But for some reason, a coffee shop just seems almost in direct comparison to the level that online dating would. To me, it is quite sad and desperate. It is apparent that no one has shame in this cafe culture, and of course, regulars will date regulars (which includes employees).

But the problem with today was that, I wasn't a regular at this starbucks. And a regular tried to force upon me an interaction that you really should save to when I become the level of a regular. Thus, she scared me and I ran away. Hahaha. Who the fuck are you anyway? I don't want to go shopping with you when I don't even know you're name. Just let me put sugar into my cup of jo' please, and maybe I'll actually come back to this same starbucks next time. I'm not even part of this cafe culture and I already know she has broken a rule.

This has made me ponder about other environments in which I never realized there was an evident "culture" to begin with. Another one would have to be yet one more term I shall coin, "Craigslist Culture". And you can specialize this type of culture into various categories of cultures with the system that craigslist gives you. One that I was in was what I will call the "buying and selling of furniture culture". For several summers in New York City, I had an addiction to taking in used furniture off the street and reselling them for my own profit off of craigslist. I made quite an amount being a trashpicker-upper. It was ridiculous to see the lengths that people would go to just buy something they could buy brand new at a store not far from them for almost the same price. I sold a disgustingly used dart-board (which came with no darts) that I listed for $3 to a man who drove his car to my apartment just to pick it up. I literally threw the board through his passenger side window and he threw me the three bucks. Of course that seems desperate on my end, but really , we both knew that we were both just bored and curious. On my end, I was curious to see who would really buy this piece of junk and waste their time trekking over to some stranger's place to get it. On his spectrum, I'm guessing, he wanted to know who is selling this piece of junk, what they look like, and it would be a story he could use when he has company over using his dart board as they drink martinis. I could only assume martinis because he was driving a lexus...

With "Craigslist Culture", making profit off of trash was interestingly addicting but at the end, it came to the point where it was kind of cool meeting random people as you trade their measly cash for secret trash. With each "customer", I'd spend anywhere between three to fifteen minutes actually getting to know them. They'd ask me or I'd ask them about what they did for a living, why they needed this particular item, they're whole education history, or what they were doing for the weekend. All in all, it made no sense, because I would never see any of them ever again. At least with this culture, it was all about the moment and the conversation, not the product, or else you'd just buy it from them and go on your way without word. There's this thrill of meeting some random person, getting to know them as much as you can, to fill up several minutes in your day. All the people that bought my stuff were not reserved at all. In fact, I was the one that was more reserved. I never really initiated the conversation. They always did. Whether this was to keep a new york social rhythm in their day or to satisfy it as a special experience to connect it with their furniture, conversation into the personal makes it a culture.

We all know starbucks has become the king of commercial coffee shops but I really think it has become the king of commercial socializing. It's a place to get overpriced coffee you can make at home or buy at the deli/gas-station, but really, let's be honest, it's a modest place to make friends or pick up dates. I have to say that there's really only a small percentage of people who become a regular for the products themselves. The rest of us are just curiously lonely or bored.

So the woman's exact words were "Hey, I've never seen you around here. You new? I know everyone here, and I've never seen you. Ya live around here? I work down the street. Want to go shopping later?" It was like she owned the place, but she was just a regular who ordered iced green tea. What did I do? I gave her my life history because she asked, and I said "Maybe." to the shopping offer, and went to go sit by myself far from her, and waited for her to leave so that I could leave the place in my reserved manner. She didn't even ask for my name and never gave hers. What was the goal? I didn't understand. A one-night-shopping-stand?

I think starbucks has generated a place to practice socializing as well as an energy for the regulars and employees to build a community around themselves. Obviously it is the alternative to the bar or club setting.


p.s. i'll finish this later