I think I might have to quit this blogger site as well........ I've noticed that my blogging is quite unhealthy for myself. I start to blog about things untold and just digs myself deeper into sadness. I think I'm also easily traumatized. But I also don't exactly have a best friend to talk about certain dark things with anymore. Jon took that place. He knows everything. Every event, every secret, every fact. And he calmed me down. Swore to protect me. But now I don't have anyone to protect me. I'm quite scared. Scared of the memories. With Jon, I could hide behind him. He would make sure everything was alright. He was that shining star in my life.
I was watching that terminator show on FOX, the Sarah Connor Chronicles. It was the season finale. And I guess the last few seconds of the episode made it look like Sarah Connor was gonna die. It made me sad b/c then John Connor would be all alone, with no protector but himself. And that's how I feel right now. Alone to fend for myself.
My niece is so lucky. She has the most normal life out of all of us at home. That's why she's always smiling! I'd trade to be in her shoes anyday. Sometimes I think that when I am rich later on, I'll hire a great therapist to hypnotize me. Yes, this is quite a depressing post. My year has been nothing but a downward spiral anyway. Hopefully 2009 will be spectacular and my mom can wish me a happy new year when we do our traditional Vietnamese toastings to each other in February. I'm starting to believe in it now. Prayer, good wishes, my dreams.
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2 comments:
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it will be okay, really!
2009 will be an AWESOME year. you get to go to mongolia, you start optometry school and meet lots of ppl, ur pal is gonna get hitched, you move into your own apartment, you get to be a radio DJ, you sell your artwork... lots of stuff!!!!
oh my love!! i suggest we both move to PDX together :).... unless that interferes with your already sweet ass plans for 09???
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